Joanna's Musings

I always find myself fully awake at 2 a.m. During this time I could practically hear even the faintest sound from afar. Sometimes I would just content myself gazing at Uly and Yuna fast asleep, wondering how these two brought a major turnaround in my life. They are my priceless possession now – practically my life.

Sometimes I’d grab a book (I always have a book within arm’s reach) to make me sleep and if I fail to go back to sleep, I’d open the laptop, listen to music while browsing the internet. One time I’ve signed in at YM and buzzed my sister in Saudi who was online. She was surprised of course why I’m still up at 2 a.m. I just nonchalantly told her that this is some bad habit of mine that I find bizarre.

Well lately I am developing this attitude of always focusing on the good side no matter how bad the situation may seem, and I’m thinking maybe, just maybe my 2 a.m. awakenings are the best times to contemplate on important things in life: family, friends and loved ones, the future, and the list goes on.

Uly was in high spirits when he came from work last night (he had an OT again). He went into full account on how his day was, highlighting the fact that he was offered again a higher position (before I’d get a little jealous that he’s way past me again, that I’m still stuck rotten in life while he was busy working on his career, but thank God I’ve completely eradicated that bad, bad feeling), and we ended up talking about it, weighing out our options and came up with a mutual decision to stick to our original plan. (Unfortunately I can’t blurt it out here right now, but we have good plans that we are praying to come to pass).

It’s nearly 4 a.m. now and in just a few minutes my eyelids would eventually grow heavy. Uly is snoring beside me while Yuna mumbled “puppy” in her sleep a while ago. I couldn’t help but smile in the faint darkness of the room. She loves puppies so much.

Oftentimes I feel an overwhelming surge of emotion just watching these two and I can’t help but wonder what really is my purpose here on earth. Could it be that I am destined to be a homemaker? That God destined me to take care of these two lives in my hands now? Could be, because when these two came into my life, I have learned to live unselfishly, offering my life to them.

Ah, there could be more questions day by day, but if there’s one thing I’m sure of right now, it’s the fact that I live for these two.